Agony

There were times, when I had my chances
Every road looked leading towards success

But lazy mind, never really took them fully

Now regretting, all those given up chances

I feel I am being tied up, with no ways to escape

I am forced to see my dreams being guttered

With my remorseful eyes, I saw vanishing light

From the strongest faith I had in myself, myself

  

I saw all others racing past me in a hurry

While I am still snailing with a handicap

That shows, how badly I fared in this game

Now it hurts so much, too painful to bear

I wished to do, a lot of things,

I want to do, a lot of things

But now, it’s out of my hands,

 I could barely do anything

Don’t know, whether to cry or to scream

Or Thrash things to pieces or to go silent

This is getting me into a state of revenge

I feel, I have been left with lot to prove

A sense of helplessness

 Ignited unrelenting fury

 It’s burning inside my heart

Agony, I am in agony

Agony of a lifetime 

Silence

When I see you silent

A feeling of discomfort arises

I always try to hide it, screw it

But it comes out as words

A knee-jerk reaction of sorts

I know there is a reason for your silence

Some times, you don’t want to share

But curious mind always craves to track it

I try all my tricks to get you speak

But I know you are a  tough nut to crack

It may be irritating for you

But what to do, instincts are hard to suppress

When deliberation plays in,

Desperation has to make way

I always want to see you vibrant

Crushing the very silence with a smile

I always want to see you laughing

As a gesture against bad moods

I want to find answers to your silence

The solutions for the problems beneath it

yet, every now and then your silence abrupt

Making me bit concerned

There is something to tell for that silence

A silence in return will be nice sometimes

Let’s talk in the language of silence

Until the smiles are back at the eyes

and words are back at the lips

With brand new excitement.